I chased a child yesterday. His dad dropped him off late to school, and the kid decided that entering the building wasn’t really his thing. He just kept going. By the time a teacher got me down there, he was cutting through a park a couple blocks away.

I wish I had the rest of this on video for you, but at least try to imagine me in a business skirt and blouse, holding my heels in my hand and sprinting barefoot through the neighborhood trying to catch up to a twelve-year-old boy in a backpack. Because that happened.

When I caught up to him, it was like herding an animal. He desperately wanted to avoid talking to me, so he would turn away from whichever side I moved to. We did a couple circles around a church parking lot before I really figured out how to maneuver him, and then slowly I worked him back to school. Security met us there and managed to convince him to come back inside.

I wish any of this were a joke, but it’s not. Welcome to my new life.